


Badgermao Week

by Hekmugi



Category: Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart (Cartoon)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Body Worship, Comfort, Cooking Lessons, Exhibitionism, Fluff, Food Kink, Foot Jobs, Hugging, M/M, Sex, Shapeshifting, one-offs, ongoing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:26:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23090164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hekmugi/pseuds/Hekmugi
Summary: A loose compilation of one-offs involving as many Badgermao prompts as people can come up with within a week. Stories will range from Gen to Explicit, and will be marked on the individual chapter title. The overall explicit rating is precautionary, as the first story is Gen.17MAR2020 Update: A total of 9 prompts have been made. Their ratings are as follows:Ch. 1 - Gen | Ch. 2 - Explicit | Ch. 3 - Explicit | Ch. 4 - Explicit | Ch. 5 - Explicit | Ch. 6 - Gen | Ch. 7 - Gen | Ch. 8 - Gen | Ch. 9 - Gen
Relationships: Badgerclops/Mao Mao Mao
Comments: 44
Kudos: 99





	1. (Gen) Team-Attacks

A fierce wind whipped around the two heroes. It was only midday, but they were both covered in sweat and dust as they reached a relatively flat area among the mountain range. They were halfway through scaling the mighty Fracturespine Peak, and Mao Mao could feel tips of ice beginning to form on the ends of his fur. Planting his sword in the ground, he let out a ragged sigh.

“Dude… What’s up…?” Badgerclops gasped, hunched over with the weight of the rucksack on his back.

“We’re making camp here,” Mao Mao announced, supporting himself against the hilt of his blade, “Go ahead and pull the tents out. I’ll go scout for some firewood and water.”

“Don’t gotta tell me twice.” Badgerclops pulled his straps and undid his waistband, letting the huge sack droop against his back as he slid his arms free. The ruck’s metal frame clattered against the ground, and Badgerclops got to work with pulling out their equipment. Mao Mao retrieved his sword, walking along the gently rolling tundra as he looked for fuel.

Within the hour, Mao Mao procured several decent-sized bits of lumber from some dead trees, and sufficient kindling from the lichen that grew along the rocks. He’d even found a small stream running from within a partially-obscured cave on the side of the cliff face. It was cold, but fresh. He chanced taking a quick bath, washing the worst of the grime off of him before scampering back to the camp to warm himself up by a soon-to-be-created fire.

Badgerclops forewent the shower, opting to use his robotic arm’s suction feature to remove the dust. He was still sweaty and gross, but that was a common trait for roaming adventurers when they were in the wilderness. Mao Mao was aware of the faint, rotten-fruit stench from his own soiled clothes, but he was able to ignore it.

The two sat close to the fire, warming their exteriors as they huddled as close as they could without burning themselves. Badgerclops didn’t seem to be particularly chilly, but Mao Mao couldn’t stop chattering. Even after making himself (mostly) dry, the piercing wind chilled him to his bones. He stared at the badger’s thick coat of fur with envy, wishing he could bury himself within its warmth. Unfortunately, they had only been travelling together for a few weeks now, and their boundaries were still fairly rigid. Badgerclops wasn’t even fond of Mao Mao having his tent too close to him, and he would get jumpy if he didn’t let him know he was approaching from behind, even if it was just brushing past him.

Still, that coat looked really,  _ really _ warm. And Mao Mao was not one to be outdone by something as malleable as  _ boundaries _ . He kept up his glare, the inner cogs of his mind turning as he devised a plan.

Badgerclops felt uneasy, and turned away from the fire to see his new companion staring at him with an intensity that was unusual, even for someone like him.

“Uh… Dude? Are you alright?” Badgerclops asked, giving the hero a critical stare.

“Yes…” Mao Mao said slowly, “I was just thinking. We should… Learn to fight more effectively, using our strengths in conjunction with one another.”

Badgerclops furrowed his brow. “Really?”

Mao Mao popped his head up. “Absolutely! I think it’s about time we developed a…  _ Team attack! _ ”

“Team attack.” Badgerclops repeated, the words sounding flat. “That sounds stupid.”   


“It’s not stupid, team attacks have always been a part of the Mao clan’s fighting style, and I’ll prove it!” Mao Mao shot, pulling out his handy Hero’s Code and twirling his fingers through the pages as he thrust it towards the badger.

In reality, there was nothing about team attacks in the Hero’s Code. It was a selfish, bold-faced lie, but Mao Mao trusted that Badgerclops would fall for his intensity and not bother trying to read all the nonsense he was thrusting in his face.

“Right,” Badgerclops started, “my bad. Alright, whatever, let’s see some of these ‘team attacks’ then.” Badgerclops put up his paws to make air quotes.

“Certainly,” Mao Mao declared, his confidence faltering only momentarily as he realized he now had to back up his bogus claim.

“Let’s, uh… Let’s start with the… Cross-x.”

Badgerclops scoffed. “The ‘Cross-x’? That sounds like you just made it up.”

“I did not! Look, it’s simple…” Mao Mao said, putting a digit to his mouth. “We attack a target at diverging vectors, allowing us to catch our opponent off guard because they can’t deflect from both angles at once. Here, I’ll show you.”

Mao Mao took an extra log and jogged forward a couple yards. Planting it in the earth with a slamming of his paw, he ran back to the camp. Drawing his sword, he motioned for Badgerclops to get up.

“Uh, I’m more of a ranged guy…” Badgerclops said, holding his blaster up.

“Oh, uh, right. I knew that.” Mao Mao coughed, having gotten ahead of himself. “But uh, say we needed to apply pressure up close. You could use a… Really intense, short range beam or something to pierce armor, right?”

“That’s not how that wor…” Badgerclops started, holding a paw up. “Well… Maybe? I guess it’s possible. Alright, sure, I’ll try this ‘cross-x’.”

Mao Mao nodded, taking his position to the right of the log. He instructed Badgerclops to stand at a mirrored angle, forming a triangle with them and the target. Once their positions were set, Mao Mao ordered them to begin. The two of them charged at the log, Mao Mao slowing himself down so they would cross at the same time. As the two of them approached their target, Mao Mao went low as Badgerclops hopped over him. He felt the warmth radiating from Badgerclops’s body in the moment that they crossed paths, confirming his theory.

The log cracked as a sword sliced through the bottom half, and the intense blast of a momentary laser beam caused the top half to burst into flame, sailing through the air dozens of meters.

The heroes skidded to a halt, holding their weapons in front of them. Mao Mao moved to put his blade away, watching Badgerclops transform his blaster back into an arm. As Badgerclops turned to the hero, Mao Mao saw a large smile on his face.

“Holy crap, man, that was awesome! I didn’t even know I- or like, we- could do that!”

Mao Mao let out a chuckle. “That’s the power of teamwork, my friend.”

“You got any more moves like that?”

Just what he wanted to hear. He had the badger wrapped around his finger.

“You bet,” Mao Mao said, his mind already bursting at the seams with innovative ways to get himself some quality time with that deliciously shaggy fur. “In fact, there’s one that will greatly increase my range with minimal effort from yourself. All you have to do is pick me up.”

“That’s all?!” Badgerclops said, excitement twinging his voice. “Get over here, dude!”

Mao Mao spread his arms wide, expecting the badger to tackle him like a football. In reality, the enhanced attack range he’d get was minimal, but he could make it work with one of his special strikes. It’d be worth it for that-

-icy, horrible feeling of cold metal constricting itself around his midsection. Mao Mao gasped as a sudden, violent chill shot through his body. Badgerclops had extended his robo-arm to Mao Mao, grasping him and whipping him into the air like a whip. Between the sudden whipping wind blasting his face and the heat-sapping steel gripping his body, he felt as if he could snap in half. He held his sword in mid-air like he was an action figure, Badgerclops whipping him around like a toy soldier.

“Haha, Whiplash!” Badgerclops giggled. He set Mao Mao down, watching the hero as he seemed to snap his joints back into working. His fur stood on end, and his face was frozen in its current expression.

“Are you alright?”

“ _ N-n-n-n-never b-b-b-b-better! _ ” Mao Mao chattered through his teeth, shaking himself violently. Regaining his composure, he thought quickly to attempt something more direct.

  
“Of  _ c-c-c- _ course, that still leaves you  _ v-v-v- _ vulnerable to attacks, since you’re stationary.” Mao Mao said, trying to suppress the intense shivers. “Therefore, we should interlock by the  _ s-s-s- _ shoulders.”

“You mean like… A piggyback ride?” Badgerclops said, his face scrunching a bit.

“Well, kinda,” Mao Mao stuttered, hearing the skepticism creep back into Badgerclops’s voice, “but it’s purely tactical. More like a cavalry charge, where the faster person carries the other to make the best use of their speed.”

“So… A horsey ride?”

“Cavalry!”

Badgerclops shrugged. “Alright, dude, I’m game.”

“Good!” Mao Mao shouted. He moved to mount the larger badger’s back. Obviously the badger’s larger legs and height would allow him to sprint faster than he could, so it was only logical that he would be the carrier. Mao Mao could already feel the warm, matted fur smothering him, and he revelled in the idea of being enveloped in it like it was a big, rugged throw blanket.

They met one another, and Mao Mao moved to put a hand on the badger’s side.

“Woah woah, hold up man. You’re totally faster than me.”

Mao Mao looked up at Badgerclops incredulously. “As if, you’ve got stronger legs!”

“I can barely climb a flight of stairs,” Badgerclops whined, “Just let me get on your back and I’ll use my blaster. Y’know,  _ like cavalry _ .”

Mao Mao’s ear twitched. He felt like he was being led on, but he couldn’t show weakness now. If this was a test to prove his sincerity, he would pass it, and to do so he bent over without hesitation.

  
“Let’s go,” Mao Mao commanded, patting his back.

Badgerclops climbed onto Mao Mao, resting his weight against Mao Mao’s shoulders. The hero felt like he was going to collapse as the weight sent signals of pain screaming from his spine, but he toughed it out, if only for the warmth of having the badger against his back. He was closer to his goal, even if it was through an unorthodox method, so he counted it as a win.

Badgerclops kicked Mao Mao in the chest with the back of his foot. “C’mon, now! Giddy up! Hyah!”

Grumbling, Mao Mao launched his legs forward, pushing himself to the limit as he tried to sprint at his usual pace. The extra two-hundred-or-so pounds of weight on his tiny frame slowed him down significantly, but the badger hardly seemed to notice as he shot wildly from his position. He laughed between shots, blowing holes in the ground in front of them as Mao Mao struggled to keep himself from falling. After about fifty feet of continuous effort, Mao Mao slumped over, taking rapid, ragged breaths.

Badgerclops got off the cat, blowing the smoke away from his blaster arm. “Oh, dude! That was so cool! I felt like a real shootin’ tootin’ cowpoke!”

Mao Mao was unable to speak, dry-heaving against the floor as he felt his chest contort in agony. He was far from cold now, but he would gladly trade away this miserable pain and nausea for it. Badgerclops watched his friend suffering on the ground, and a twinge of empathy buzzed through him. The first time he had felt something more than just pity for someone since he could remember.

“B… Badgerclops,” Mao Mao said, his voice ragged and shallow between breaths, “there’s one more move… that I wanted to try out.”

“And what’s that?” Badgerclops asked, bending low to the cat.

“Use me like… A spear... I call it the hoplite…”

Wow. Now that was just too obvious. Badgerclops couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at the cat’s last feeble attempt to get him to hug him. It was funny at first, and he almost had him going with the cross-x, but everything after that was just silly. Still, he figured he had tortured the cat enough, and he might as well let him have some fun. Besides, after all that exertion he figured he probably wouldn’t have a partner to break camp with tomorrow if he  _ didn’t _ let him take it easy.

Scooping the cat in his arms, Badgerclops cradled the cat between his paws and held him close to his chest. Mao Mao tried to roll over onto his side and hold his blade out in a feeble attempt at disguising his intentions, but Badgerclops wasn’t having it.

“Just put the sword away, I know what you’re trying to do.”

Mao Mao wheezed, still holding his sword in his limp arms. “I don’t… know what you’re talking… about…”

“C’mon, let’s go to my tent. It’s nice and thick, so we can get you out of the wind.”

Mao Mao was too tired to keep pretending, and decided to sheath his sword so he could grip the badger around the neck with his arms. Badgerclops tucked the cat in under his chest, cradling him like a child as he made his way back to camp. Brushing the thick flap of his tent away, he crawled inside with the hero, rocking him gently as he settled into his large sleeping bag. Mao Mao was flustered but also incredibly grateful to finally experience the overwhelming warmth of Badgerclops’s fur. The temperature went from sub-freezing to balmy as he forced himself deeper within the badger’s layers, letting out a soft, blissful sigh of relief and pleasure as he hid his entire front half within the badger’s chest.

“Hey, Mao,” Badgerclops whispered as he pulled the sleeping bag around the two of them, “I think I thought of a better name for your last little team attack.”

Mao Mao let out an inquisitive grunt.

“How about, ‘rock-a-bye baby’?”

“...ssstupid…” Mao Mao mumbled, hiding his face deeper in the badger’s fur.

Badgerclops giggled, letting the hero rest on top of him. He felt a deep, fractured buzzing coming from the hero, and as he realized what was going on he couldn’t help but let out a squeak of immense joy.

“ _ ohmygodhe’spurring _ ,” Badgerclops breathed, his face twisting into a goofy smile. Mao Mao said nothing, having already slipped into a peaceful slumber against his co-hero.

  
“ _ This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, _ ” Badgerclops whispered to himself, “ _ I’m never letting him live this down. _ ”


	2. (Explicit) Foodplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months after getting to know one another, the heroes try to have a little fun. They fail in a way only someone like themselves could.

Badgerclops nudged the door shut behind him, carrying a couple of grocery bags in his arms. The hotel room was quaint, sporting one large bed and the usual amenities. Regardless, it was infinitely preferable to the wilderness, and they could both use some time to relax. Mao Mao sat up on the bed, tossing his cape aside as he unfurled himself.

“There you are! You said you’d only be ten minutes.”

Badgerclops checked his watch. “It’s been… like fifteen.”

“Exactly,” Mao Mao said, getting up and walking over to his comrade, “you’re late, and when you’re late, I get  _ lonely _ .” Mao Mao groaned, kneading the badger’s stomach fur.

“Alright, alright, cut it out!” Badgerclops said, stifling a laugh. Now that the two of them had grown closer, Mao Mao wasn’t afraid to break character, especially when it was to mess with his co-hero.

Mao Mao pulled himself off, flicking away stray hairs between the digits of his paws. “So, what’d you get?”

Badgerclops put a claw to his mouth, smirking. “Oh, you know. Stuff.”

Mao Mao narrowed his eyes. “What kind of stuff?”

“Food.”

Mao Mao scoffed. “Figures.”

Badgerclops thrust one of the bags into Mao Mao’s chest. “Well, more like appetizers. Take a look!”

“Appetizers? For what?” Mao Mao asked, peeking into the paper sack. He found the contents of the bag to be rather odd - strawberries, honey, chocolate syrup… and a spray can of whipped cream.

Mao Mao stared up at the badger. “I don’t… I don’t get it. What’s with the toppings?”

“I just thought we could try something different, y’know?” Badgerclops said with his trademark smile.

The hero pulled the canister of whipped cream out of the bag. “With this?”

“Lemme show you,” Badgerclops said, grasping the aerosol can and popping the lid with a claw, “all you gotta do is add a little…"

Mao Mao tensed as Badgerclops lowered the can to his chest. His momentary confusion was overridden by a sudden, cold feeling on his-

He grabbed onto Badgerclops’s arm, twisting it. “H-hey, watch it! What are you doing?!”

“Ow- ow!” Badgerclops winced, loosening his grip on the can. 

Mao Mao took a step back, inspecting the fresh dollop of cream against one of his nipples. “Is this some kind of prank?”

Badgerclops let out a snorting laugh, letting the rest of the bags drop to the floor. “Really, dude? You’ve never heard of this?”

“Heard of wha-”

Badgerclops cut him off, dropping to his knees and placing his hands against the hero’s sides. Before Mao Mao could inquire further, a wet, hot sensation worked its way over his nipple, sending a shudder down his side. Badgerclops helped himself a few more times, dragging his tongue slowly across the sensitive flesh. Rising once more, he smiled down at the Hero, a bit of cream protruding from the side of his mouth.

Mao Mao took in a shaky breath, the stimulation working its way down his body and congregating in his groin. Badgerclops held the can in front of the hero, flashing his teeth.

“Get it?”

Mao Mao gave an aggressive nod. He cradled the can in his hands, a sultry smile spreading across his face. “I’ll be right back.”

Scampering off to the restroom, Badgerclops heard the door slam behind him as he retrieved the bags once more. He laid out the items on the end of the bed - strawberries and a bottle of champagne. The rest of it was actual food because he was actually kinda hungry, but that could wait until later.

Popping the box of strawberries open, he started to munch on one. They were extremely juicy, squirting red juice the moment he put pressure on them. They weren’t tart at all - perfectly ripe and even a little soft. They were perfect for what he had planned.

The bathroom door opened. Badgerclops turned to look at his partner, his eye hanging open along with his mouth in shock. He was completely undressed, down to his gloves, with only a thin coating of cream strung between his nipples, waist and groin in a rough facsimile of lingerie. Mao Mao gave him a smirk, putting his hands behind his back as he presented himself.

“Whaddya think?”

Badgerclops let out a wheeze, dropping his half-eaten strawberry. Mao Mao took that as a sign to advance, sauntering up to the bed and crawling onto it on all fours. The cream drooped against his frame, but he held himself sturdy enough to keep it from falling from him. He thrust his chest in Badgercops’s face. “You wanna undress me?”

Without a word, the badger got low. He began to lick at each of Mao Mao’s nipples, first in gentle, teasing pokes at the little mounds that covered the soft pink flesh, but gradually morphing into long, slow drags. He flicked his tongue forwards and backwards, keeping up a barrage of tingling pleasure as Mao Mao began to lie on his back. Badgerclops worked his way down from the top, giving each sensitive area its own special attention.

  
Mao Mao put his paws on Badgerclops’s shoulders, his eyes losing focus as he giggled at the constant stimulation. His crotch twitched in excitement, causing him to peek out from the covering mound of cream. As Badgerclops finished on the last nipple, he brought himself to Mao Mao’s tip and began to poke at it with his tongue. He cleaned off the upper half of the cat’s member, making it stand out from the backdrop of white. He only went halfway before he stopped, reaching for the discarded box he had set aside a moment ago.

“Hold on, man, let’s keep this going for a little bit.” Badgerclops breathed, putting himself at eye level.

“O-okay,” Mao Mao said, only a little annoyed at the teasing. His crotch throbbed in impatience, but he let it abate. He’d keep playing along with his partner, so long as he thought it’d pay off.

Dangling a strawberry between the two of them, Badgerclops leaned forward and began nibbling on his side. The tiny, playful bites barely etched away the surface, sending drops of juice dripping down onto Mao Mao’s chest. The sweet aroma of fresh fruit was pleasing up close.

Mao Mao leaned forward, keeping his paws on the badger for support as he leaned into the strawberry. They both began to toy with their respective ends, squirting out the occasional bit of juice as they ventured deeper into it. As the strawberry deteriorated, they began to curve their mouths around. Pushing past the remains of the berry, they began to envelop their lips around one another, locking in a smacking, wet kiss. The juice that dribbled from their lips mixed with their saliva, their tongues tangling together in the sweet embrace.

After several long seconds, they parted their mouths long enough to catch their breaths. The lingering scent of strawberries remained on their lips as they brushed them with their arms. Reaching around the hero, Badgerclops took hold of the syrup from earlier and uncapped it. Giving it a hearty squeeze, he sent the thick, dark liquid right onto Mao Mao’s half-mast.

The moist, sticky sensation shot him right back up, prompting him to release his grasp on his companion and lie down once more. He relocated his paws to the badger’s head as his mouth enveloped him. The syrup that coated him was diligently licked and sucked away, causing him to let out half-suppressed grunts.

“Mm,” Badgerclops said, pulling away from the throbbing erection, “salty.”

“W-well don’t stop!” Mao Mao said, his voice mixed with pleasure and yearning.

“I’m just getting started.” Badgerclops dumped another coating of syrup onto the hero’s throbbing member. He descended once more, tasting the chocolate mixing with Mao Mao’s semen. It wasn’t until he started indulging himself that he realized he actually was pretty hungry, more than he had expected.

Grabbing another strawberry, he lifted his head and took a big bite out of it, flicking the remains to the floor as he ingested the fruit.

“Badgerclops, aren’t you forgetting something?” Mao Mao said, giving a wiggle of his hips. His cock bounced around, dribbling out impatiently as it awaited further stimulation.

“Just a sec, dude, I just had an idea,” Badgerclops reached for the box again, now pouring syrup on the fruit before eating it. A pleasured moan escaped his mouth as he chewed. “Oh, yep - so good…”

Mao Mao reached behind him, grabbing the bottle of champagne. Taking initiative, he sliced the paper seal off with a claw and unscrewed the cap. He poured a bit on his chest, letting the liquid shine against his quivering body. “Badgerclops, don’t you wanna wash that down with something?”

“Oh, good thinking!” Badgerclops said, grabbing the bottle from the cat’s paw and taking a swig. “Chocolate and alcohol is a great pairing!”

Mao Mao growled, running a paw down his forehead as he watched the badger gorge himself on syrup and fruit, stopping for the occasional swig of alcohol. “You’ve got to be kidding me…”

Badgerclops let out a belch. “Hold on dude. Like, five-minute food break. I’m actually really hungry.” He said, mouth half-full of food.

With an exasperated sigh, Mao Mao rolled off the bed, the sexual tension giving way to his whole front half feeling sticky and gross.

“Forget it, just forget it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that didn't come off as a tease - the prompt suggested Badgerclops get carried away with it! We'll be going all the way with the next story though, so don't you worry.


	3. (Explicit) Sleeper Sofa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Badgerclops and Mao Mao make up early, and have a little bit of fun with Tony while they're at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're having some fun with perspectives with this one! The story transitions perspective between two groups, punctuated by full lines for ease of understanding. Let me know if you like it or if you think it draws away from the action too much!

“Hey boss, you hearin’ anything?”

Orangusnake leaned his head against the cushions. Aside from the faint sounds of Mao Mao tossing and turning, it was quiet.

“It sounds like he’s about to fall asleep,” Orangusnake announced with an excited whisper, “just a few more minutes and we can spring our trap!”

Hosstrich gave a grunt, sitting up from his cramped corner. “The sooner the better, I reckon. This is doin’ some serious damage to my posture.”

“ _Shh_ ,” Orangusnake ordered, keeping his head to the underside of the cushion, “I think I hear something!”

* * *

The hero grumbled to himself, flopping around on the couch as he tried get comfortable.

“Stupid dipping sauce cup mountain, stupid paint…” he let out a heavy sigh, “stupid lumpy couch.”

The anger in the cat’s heart had long since faded, the lingering feelings curdling into regret as he was left alone with his thoughts and the faint moonlight. He scanned the walls, looking at pictures and knick knacks that Badgerclops had left behind - the now-forlorn relics of a friendship put in jeopardy. He felt a stinging from behind his heavy eyes as he brought a gloved hand to his mouth, nibbling on a digit softly as he suppressed a sob.

His eyes settled on one memento in particular - a drawing that Adorabat had left behind during their fight from earlier. It was a crude painting of the three of them looking happy as ever. In normal circumstances this would just be cute, but he was feeling like a rather glum young man at the time. He shot a look at the kitchen, and noticed for the first time that the oven was on. He kept up his gaze until he was sure nothing was stirring.

Taking a chance, he slipped off of the couch. He crouched over the drawing and scooped it up with a paw. Holding the drawing close to his face he sniffled as he took in its fine details and heavy, frantic brush strokes. The blurriness in his eyes added more depth to the painting, heightening his appreciation for Adorabat’s choice of artistic medium.

  
“M-maybe her paint isn’t so bad after all,” he muttered, crawling back onto the couch. He snuggled back into a cape-burrito, laying the drawing on the arm of the couch. A quivering smile began to form across his face as something new began to blossom in his mind. He closed his tear-stained eyes as he thought of all the adventures the three of them had been through.

The sound of the oven door creaking open roused him from his daydream. He looked back to the oven, watching Badgerclops pull the metal rack forward and observing its contents. He stared at the square tin for a few seconds before taking it in a mitted hand, closing the door with the other. Badgerclops took a deep breath, turning towards the main room.

Mao Mao closed his eyes tight, not wanting to give away his observation. He craned his ears, listening as the badger’s footsteps approached the doorway. The padding steps stopped, but were immediately followed by a knocking on wood.

“Mao Mao?” Badgerclops whispered.

The hero opened an eye up, maybe a bit too quickly for someone who was pretending to be asleep. The sudden, neon green light appearing from the couch caused Badgerclops to return a small smile.

“You can’t sleep either, huh?”

Mao Mao cleared his throat, unfurling his cape a bit. He hid the drawing behind him in the process. “The, uh, couch is lumpy.”

“Can I… come in?”

The sheriff glanced to the side, hiding most of his face behind his cape to obscure his embarrassed smile. “I guess.”

“I made you a present-” Badgerclops spoke a little too quickly, as if he hadn’t expected to be let in so easy. “It’s, uh... your favorite.”

“My favorite?” Mao Mao asked, poking his head out. The scent of sweet blueberries hit him, causing his mouth to hang open. He shook his head, covering his face as he wiped his drool away.

Badgerclops giggled, holding up two forks. “I just kinda thought… We skipped dinner. Thought you might appreciate a snack.”

“That’s… very kind of you, Badgerclops. I would appreciate that greatly.” He sat up, discreetly sliding Adorabat’s painting behind the couch as he pretended to stretch.

Badgerclops walked over, holding the hot tin between the two of them. He handed a fork to Mao Mao, letting out another chuckle as the cat swiped it away.  
  
“Be careful, I literally just pulled it out of the oven.” Badgerclops warned, watching him skewer a bit of the goopy desert and direct it back towards his mouth.

Mao Mao gave the filling a few quick blows before sticking it in his mouth. He relished in the mouth-numbing sweetness, letting out a soft moan as he exhaled a puff of steam. Another section of the cobbler was stabbed and quartered, the hungry sheriff bringing another piping hot fork-full to his impatient mouth as Badgerclops watched.

“I, uh, wanted to apologize for earlier,” he said, tapping his fork against his side of the dish, “I kinda freaked out, and I felt bad about it. I should’ve thrown away my junk instead of being a... lazybones.”

Mao Mao stopped stuffing his face long enough to respond. “ _Ba’hrclbs, ih’s a’r’gh’-_ ” he swallowed- “It’s alright. I shouldn’t have been so… aggressive about making you do what I wanted you to. I should’ve treated you with the respect that you deserve. I have a tendency to act like a jerk, and neither you nor adorabat should have to put up with that.” He locked eyes with the deputy. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

Badgerclops set the rest of the cobbler on the table, along with his fork. “Aw, dude,” he held his arms out, “C’mere.”

Mao Mao glanced to the side, tossing his fork onto the tin. Failing to suppress a toothy grin, he scooted over to his deputy and embraced him. “You’re the best co-hero a guy could have.”

* * *

“We, well ain’t that just the sweetest thing, now?” Hosstrich whispered.

Ratarang rubbed his eyes, clearing away tears. “Aw jeez, who turned on the water works? I didn’t know we was listenin’ to a soap opera.”

“Alright, so they made up, whatever!” Orangusnake said, ignoring the blush spreading on his face, “we’re still going to steal their stuff, no matter how sweet they are!”

“Oh, boss, boss!” Ramaraffe said, kicking the leader in the side, “They’re still talking!”

* * *

Badgerclops covered his mouth. “W-what did you just ask?”

“I asked if you wanted to help break in Tony,” Mao Mao patted the cushion, “It’s been a while since we… y’know.”

The deputy let out a giggle. “Dude, aren’t you worried about waking up Adorabat?”

“I can be quiet.” Mao Mao whispered, starting to undo his cape.

“Is that a promise or a challenge?” Badgerclops smirked. He moved his legs onto the couch, lowering himself on all fours.

“If that’s your way of asking if you need to be gentle,” Mao Mao chuckled, “why don’t you show me if you’ve still _got it_?”

“Ooh, you’re being a bad boy tonight.” Badgerclops put a paw against Mao Mao’s chest, rubbing his sensitive stomach as he tossed the hero’s loosened cape over the back of the couch.

Mao Mao started to purr, sticking his chest out for the teasing deputy. He let Badgerclops continue to rub him, popping his gloves off. The rest of his armor was stripped from him, piece by piece, and set aside on the floor. The naked sheriff presented his stomach to the deputy, the stub of his tail wiggling fiercely as he began to get aroused.

Badgerclops bent over the sheriff, holding him at eye level as he reached a hand down to his groin. They came in for a kiss, locking their lips together as he moved an arm to brush some fur aside. Badgerclops revealed himself, teasing his member out from the thick fur around his groin. Mao Mao brought his paws to Badgerclops’s face, pressing him into a deeper, moaning embrace. They rubbed against one another until the sheriff released him. Pulling apart, they caught their breath as Badgerclops moved his hands to hold the sheriff’s legs to the side.

“Oh, my bad,” Badgerclops whirred his mechanical arm a bit, “I almost forgot!”

A small bottle of lubricant poked out from the arm’s slot. Badgerclops dispensed a healthy amount of the liquid on his loins, letting the excess drip in between the cushions.

“Alright… Now we’re ready.”

* * *

“Whaddya think they’re talkin’ about, boss?” Ratarang whispered.

Orangusnake sat, immobilized by the current events. He covered his mouth, screaming into his cupped hands.

“Ratarang, c’mere for a sec,” Hosstrich said, motioning him over, “I think I can answer your question.”

Ratarang crawled over to the ostrich, sitting on his knee. Hosstrich took his hat off, thrusting it over the rat and holding it tight with his hands. “The answer is you don’t need to be hearin’ none of this. You just cover them little ‘ol ears of yours, you hear me?”

“Lemme outta here!” The Rat’s muffled shouts vibrated the hat. “It smells like oil and sweat in here!”

“I done told you to be quiet, now hush!”

Ramaraffe covered her ears. “I don’t like this plan any more, boss.”

“ _I didn’t think this would happen_ ,” Orangusnake finally choked, removing his hands from his mouth, “ _I thought we’d get to jump them while they slept or something, not-_ ”

A fresh round of quaking shivers went down Orangusnake’s spine as a liquid began to drip on his shoulder. The lubricating mixture slid down his armor, leaving behind a glistening trail.

_[Thump, thump, thump]_

The cushion began to depress with renewed fervor, bumping Ramaraffe’s neck down until she pressed up against her boss. The couch shook with each rocking motion, constricting their already-limited space.

“Boss, please tell me you got a plan,” Hosstrich said, beads of sweat forming on his brow, “This is just… embarrassin’.”

* * *

“How long’s it- _oh -_ it been since we- _ngh! -_ did this, Badgerclops?”

“I can’t even remember,” Badgerclops grunted, holding Mao Mao’s legs in the air as he pressed himself deeper. Soft plapping sounds punctuated their conversation, their breaths becoming harsh as they worked themselves harder. Mao Mao glided a paw up and down himself, arching his back as he let himself be claimed by the deputy. His eyes went unfocused, staring up at the ceiling with an open-mouthed smile as Badgerclops kept his pace.

“Mao, you wanna switch angles?”

Mao Mao halted his movements. “W-what’d you have in mind?”

“The arm,” Badgerclops caught his breath, “lean up against it, I’ll take over for ‘ya.”

Freeing himself, Mao Mao turned over and pushed his chest against the arm of the couch. He spread his legs, presenting his lower half to the badger as he gripped the upholstery for support.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Badgerclops breathed, massaging the sheriff’s rear with his paws. He parted the sheriff, giving him a squeeze before continuing. Mao Mao’s body rocked, jolting forward with each of the badger’s thrusts. He let out short, sharp moans as Badgerclops pushed deeper inside him, prompting the deputy to move a paw over his mouth.

“Shh, we’re supposed to be quiet!” he scolded, reaching his other hand under the hero.

Mao Mao let out another startled moan as Badgerclops gripped the sheriff, stroking him. The excess lube on his paw allowed him to quickly make Mao Mao’s member stimulated, mixing the dribbling passion with slicked digits. The squelching and thumping of their romp filled their ears, causing them to both shudder.

“ _Badgerclops,_ ” Mao Mao muttered through the deputy’s paw, “ _I’m getting close._ ”

“Me too, buddy,” Badgerclops grunted, quickening his pace, “let’s try to finish together, okay?”

  
The sheriff let out a soft moan.

* * *

**_[Thump, Thump, Thump]_ **

Orangusnake had lost control of his hands, using one to feel himself while the other covered his gaping mouth. Ramaraffe pressed her hands as tightly as she could against her ears, humming the sounds away while Hosstrich patted down his brow with a handkerchief.

“I need to find a new profession,” Hosstrich whispered, keeping Ratarang trapped under his hat with a stiff elbow.

“What’s goin’ on up there?” Ratarang asked, punching against the side of the hat. “I hear thumpin’ sounds! Are they gettin’ busy?!”

“You don’t hear nothin’, now quit it!” Hosstrich whispered harshly, pulling the hat down tighter.

“ _Mao, I’m about to-”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Me too, just keep-_ ”

**_[THUMP. THUMP.]_ **

The gang heard the muffled sounds of harsh sighing from above. The thumping stopped, replaced by a constant drooping on the left side of the couch.

Letting out a sigh, Hosstrich removed the hat from Ratarang. He put it back on, bringing the rim low over his eyes. “This was, bar none, the single worst plan you ever came up with, boss.”

“ _L-let’s just... try to sneak out once they go away or something_.” Orangusnake let out a haggard sigh, wiping sweat from his brow as he regained his self-control.

“At least it can’t get any worse-”

_Plap, plap, plap_

A new, viscous liquid dripped down between the couch cushions, smacking the cobra on the head. He brought a hand up, rubbing it off. The milky, sweet-smelling fluid made ropes between his fingers and felt sticky to the touch.

  
“ _Ramaraffe…_ ” Orangusnake whispered with a faint voice, _“ catch me._ ” The cobra threw his head back, eyes rolling to the back of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. (Explicit) Nuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just your everyday threesome, until a leaf gets pulled out.

“T-this isn’t what I thought you meant when you said you wanted to ‘try something new’.” Mao Mao stammered, covering himself with his paws.

The Tanuki rested her hands against the doorframe, flicking her tail upward as she locked eyes with the cat. Badgerclops rubbed the back of his head, stifling a giggle as the hero tried in vain to hide himself.

“You want me to call it off? I thought you’d be into this kind of thing.”

Mao Mao shot his partner a look. “What makes you say that?”

“I read your diary.”

The sheriff let out a soft gasp. “How  _ dare _ you!”

Badgerclops shrugged. “C’mon dude, we’re cool. You don’t need to hide this kinda stuff from me,” he teased the underside of the sheriff’s chin with a claw, “especially when I just wanna make you happy.”

“ _ We _ want to make you happy,” Tanya said, strutting to the bed. With an unusual amount of eagerness she padded her way towards the cat, shaking her hips playfully as she crawled.

“H-h-hello, Tanya.” he stuttered out, giving her a strained smile as he scooted into Badgerclops.

Tanya let out a chuckle, running a paw along the side of his head. “You know, you’re even cuter when you’re flustered.”

Mao Mao forced out a chuckle, recoiling at the Tanuki’s touch. She persisted, retaining her position as the cat’s protests began to fizzle out. The two of them pushed themselves closer into Mao Mao, enveloping him in an ocean of brown and white fur. The warmth was addicting, and as his companions pawed at him he found himself unable to make any higher function than lay between them, vibrating with pleasure.

Tanya gently tugged on Mao Mao’s face. “C’mon, Mao, there’s nothing to look at up there. Let me see that pretty little face of yours.”

“O-okay,” Mao Mao stuttered, rolling his head to the side. 

The Tanuki’s face sat inches from his, her cool smile sending a fresh round of shivers down his spine. He focused on her, glossing over every detail of her face. She wore a vibrant orange scarvf, and her heterochromatic eyes of Orange and Blue sparkled in the sunlight.

“You look different, Keys,” Mao muttered, putting a paw up to her face, “trying out a new look?”

The Tanuki glanced away, her smile faltering for a second. “Uh… Yeah, heh. Just trying to change things up a bit, uh…  _ gloves _ .”

Mao Mao let out a hearty chuckle. “Was ‘Mittens’ getting old, too?”

“Y-... Yeah.” Tanya cleared her throat, returning to her confident expression before leaning into the sheriff.

“Why don’t you start using that mouth for something else?”

Mao Mao brought Tanya to his face, drawing into a lazy kiss as they rubbed their way along one another. The Tanuki’s grunts were more gruff than usual, and her fur felt a little thicker than he remembered. This close up, he found her smell was more musky. He didn’t mind it, though. If anything, it was turning him on even more.

They relaxed their kiss, exchanging breaths as they rested their foreheads together.

“Y...You’re even better than I remember, Keys.” Mao Mao breathed.

“And you’re even more tender than I thought,” Tanya said, her eyes hanging in a lustful stare, “you’re really something special.”

Badgerclops began massaging the hero’s shoulders. “You wanna take this a little further, Mao?”

Tanya flashed a leaf in front of the sheriff. “We can get a little freaky if you’d like.”

Mao Mao felt his heart pounding in his chest. “F-freaky?”

“I can be  _ whatever you want _ .” Tanya teased, giving him a wink.

“Ah geez, Tanya, you’re perfect to me just the way you a-”

“Huge Tanuki nuts!”

Mao Mao’s eyes went wide. He craned his neck backwards, looking at the badger with bewilderment. Badgerclops shrugged, his face reddening. “What? I thought it’d be hot.”

A tinny, beeping sound emanated from behind them. Mao Mao shot his head back around, staring back at the Tanuki.  _ His _ eyes were now both orange, and instead of a scarf he had a large, purple tricorn on his head. He winked at the sheriff, putting a paw to the tip of his hat.

“Hey there, Hero.”

“T-tanya, what are you…”

The Tanuki crawled on top of the sheriff, resting against his stomach. “Please, call me Tony.”

“T-tony? But if you’re… Then you…” Mao Mao held his head up, inspecting the Tanuki’s new form.

In line with Badgerclops’s request, the new form sported a slender, masculine body. A gratuitously large sack pressed against Mao Mao’s chest, obscuring his lower body behind the thick flesh. The plump, supple tissue shined in the light of the room, radiating an enticing aura that stirred the hero’s interest.

Tony gave Mao Mao a smirk. “Wanna play with ‘em?”

The sheriff rose his paws to their enticing target, squishing against them as Tony shuffled his way up the hero’s body. The Tanuki began to pleasure himself, his eyes flushed with lust as he watched the cat fondle him.

“Those do look really squishy,” Badgerclops said, moving a paw to grope.

Tony felt sweat forming at his brow. A surge of adrenaline and deep, sensual electricity rocked from the back of his spine to his abdomen. He’d never felt such worship for his unique trait before, and his ego gorged itself on the physical admiration.

  
“I-if you think that’s fun,” he stammered, “then watch this.”

Thrusting himself forward, Tony advanced so that his testicles pressed up against Mao Mao’s face. The gleaming, musky flesh blocked his vision and clouded the air around him in musk. Not a moment later, Tony felt a poking at his back. The intoxicating aroma of the Tanuki’s scent was an aphrodisiac for the cat, pumping his loins full of desire.

  
“B-badgerclops, could you…” Mao Mao stammered out, grasping fist-fulls of Tony as he buried himself deeper.

“You bet,” Badgerclops said, reaching a hand over to work on the sheriff.

Mao Mao took in a deep breath, letting out a loud, shuddering moan as he rubbed circles on the Tanuki. Tony relished in the stimulation, constricting his thighs as he continued to please himself. Badgerclops’s diligent hand was quickly inundated with the cat’s excitement, gliding its way across his length with wet slaps. Content to watch, the badger worked himself into a steady rhythm from the sideline, admiring the view of Tony’s impressive size.

Mao Mao’s breaths became more haggard, his paws moving erratically as Tony continued to press on his face. He bucked his hips, throbbing like mad as the Tanuki bounced on top of him from the excitement.

“This is so good,” Tony breathed, wincing as he felt his warmth stirring.

  
“ _ K-keep pressing _ .” Mao Mao wheezed, rocking the bed as he slammed his hips into the mattress.

“ _ Aah _ , Mao, I’m almost there!” Tony cried, holding a paw against his mouth while the other brought his pleasuring to a crescendo.

Mao Mao let out a muffled shout, his body going limp as Tony felt a sudden hot, wet sensation on his back. He yelped, straightening his back as he felt the hero’s seed cover his backside. Tony looked at Badgerclops, his eyes wide.

“D-did I just make him-”

  
“Well, more of a _ we _ , but yeah, dude!”

“This is the best day of my life…” Tony sighed, pulling himself back so he could look at the hero’s face. Mao Mao’s eyes were mostly shut, his face stuck in a look of euphoria as he muttered incoherently to himself, eyes limp at his side.

“Oh, Mao Mao, you’re so cute…” Tony praised, working on himself once more. “Badgerclops, ou don’t think he’d mind if I… You know?”

“Nah, go for it.”

Tony pressed a paw against his face as he brought himself to his limit, unleashing his load into the air. It splattered along his package and the hero’s chest, painting them in white as the Tanuki emptied himself. Badgerclops finished onto his own chest, admiring the thoroughly soiled cat and the reclining Tanuki as he collapsed backwards, holding a paw to his chest.

“Looks like you had fun,” Badgerclops said, sighing as he let out his last shots, “you wanna pay me now or later?”

“What was the deal again…?” Tony breathed, still catching his breath.

“Well, you gave both of us a good time, so let’s call it fifty bucks.”

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story behind this one isn't really all that clear immediately, so allow me to shed some light!  
> Introducing: Tony Keys! The brother of Tanya and secret longtime admirer of Mao Mao. Yes, he disguised himself (poorly) as his sister to get a shot at/with Mao Mao, in a pre-arranged bribe that he set up with Badgerclops. He's a weird, desperate little man, and his disguising ability isn't as good as Tanya's, but he does what he can.  
> Yes, this means his "transformation" was actually just him turning back into himself.  
> With that all out of the way - thank you for reading!


	5. (Explicit) Pawbs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Badgerclops and Mao Mao are invited to a royal dinner. Innocent fun becomes not-so-innocent

The sheriff and his deputy walked along the main road of the town, approaching the front entrance of the castle. The sun had already set, replaced with a bright, full moon that illuminated the valley in its pale glow.

“Gosh, the stars sure are bright tonight…”

“They are, but we don’t have any time for stargazing,” Mao Mao said, checking his cufflinks, “we’re late enough as it is.”

“I still don’t understand why we didn’t take the Aerocycle.”

“Because  _ you _ didn’t put up the money to rent the suits, Badgerclops. Otherwise you’d also want to avoid splattering bugs and junk all over yourself.”

The deputy tugged at his collar. “Was this really necessary?”

Mao Mao scoffed. “Of course it’s necessary! We were invited to a special dinner with the king himself!”

“It’s not like we haven’t visited him a dozen times without making a big deal about it.”

Mao Mao wagged a digit, flexing his new, white gloves. “Ah, but none of those were for  _ dinner _ . It’s different.”

Badgerclops rolled his eye. “Whatever. You’re just lucky we look good in black.”

“We are pretty handsome, aren’t we?” Mao Mao stopped, admiring himself in a window. Striking a sassy pose, he ran a paw across his ears. His confident, self-admiring expression broke as he noticed his deputy approaching from behind.

“No,  _ I _ look handsome,” he said as he placed his hands on the cat’s shoulders, “ _ you _ look  _ cute. _ ”

“Cut it out, Badgerclops,” Mao Mao muttered, trying to look annoyed, “we’re in public.”

The goofy smile that spread across the sheriff’s face betrayed his true feelings, prompting the badger to lean in.   
  
“What’s wrong with giving my favorite sheriff a little love?” He looked at their reflection. “Look at you! You’re totally cute with your little gloves and your bowtie.”

Mao Mao let out a huff, flicking Badgerclops’s bangs. He recoiled with a yelp, raising his paws to his forehead.

  
“Hey, watch it! You have no idea how long it took to make it stay like that!”

“We’ve wasted enough time ogling each other,” Mao Mao said as he started to continue down the street, “let’s go.”

* * *

The guards greeted the king’s guests as they approached, uncrossing their spears to allow them through. Neither of them needed an introduction, as Snugglemagne was already waiting by the main entrance.

“Yoo-hoo, up here!” Snugglemagne gave a dainty cry, waving a handkerchief from the top of the staircase. He had chosen his longest, most regal cape to compliment his emerald doublet and lace reticello. His tan breeches accentuated his thighs, making him look larger than life. As the duo looked up to the king they found themselves awestruck by his immaculate display - a fact that the king relished in.

“I’m so glad you could make it tonight,” he announced with a deep, graceful bow, “the chef is almost ready to serve, so you’re just in time!”

The heroes bowed, sucking in their chests as they strained to keep from popping any buttons.

“We’d be happy to join you, your grace!” Mao Mao announced, beginning to trek up the stairs.

Badgerclops followed right behind the sheriff, making the occasional grasp at his paw as his right arm swung backwards. He batted it away the first few times, but the persistent badger got his way by the time they were halfway up the staircase.

Ignoring the heat rising to his face, Mao Mao gave a calm nod to the king as he reached the top of the stairs. Badgerclops gave a wave, flexing his grip on the sheriff.

“My, my,” Snugglemagne muttered, approaching the two, “you two look ravishing tonight. You look so quaint in that bowtie, sheriff.”

  
“ _ Told you. _ ” Badgerclops whispered.

“And I  _ love _ that new hairstyle of yours, badger-” -he looked at the inside of his paw- “-clops!”

The deputy giggled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Thanks, your high...grace.”

Snugglemagne let out a polite giggle as he rested a paw on his chest. “Come along now, my most esteemed guests! It’s an honor to serve our Valley’s great heroes.”

Paws still joined, they followed the king as he led them to his throne room. A large table, adorned with three cushioned chairs and a large candelabra, greeted them. The room was dimly lit, and a small orchestral ensemble began playing from a corner of the room. The king took a glance backwards, giving the pair a cool smile.

“It  _ is _ rather exquisite, isn’t it?”

It was not until that moment that the pair realized their mouths were agape, their paws gripping one another tightly as their pupils dilated.

“Yes- uh, it’s… Magnificent.” Mao Mao cleared his throat.

“ _ This is so stylin’, _ ” Badgerclops mumbled, turning to the sheriff, “ _ and kinda romantic. _ ”

He found it hard to disagree. If it were a ball he would have loved to take the deputy by the other paw and slow dance across the dreamlike hall, but they would have to settle for dinner.

A chair sat at each end of the table, with the third chair adjacent to the chair at the far side. With a flourish of his paw, the king gestured to the grouped chairs as he made his way to the other end.

“Quinton, get my seat for me, please.”

Stepping out from behind the chair, the dutiful servant pulled the chair out. Smiling, the pair glanced at one another before making their way to their seats. Pulling out seats for one another, Mao Mao gave Badgerclops the end chair.

“I figured you’d appreciate the leg room.”

The deputy giggled. “Such a gentleman.”

“Get some champagne for our guests,” Snugglemagne announced, “and a rosé for me.”

With a nod, Quinton disappeared behind the kitchen door. Left alone, the pair began to fidget with the elaborate table decorations. Mao Mao unfurled the silk napkin that contained his cutlery and spread it across his lap while Badgerclops scooted his feet across the floor. The carpet that had been laid out was thick and soft, giving a pleasant tingling as he rubbed his soles across it. Snugglemagne didn’t notice - softly humming along to the ensemble as he pretended to conduct with a fork, but it was within earshot of the sheriff.

Mao Mao tried to dissuade the deputy’s scooting with a gentle kick.

“ _ Quit it. _ ” Mao Mao muttered, polite but firm.

“ _ Just try it, dude. _ ” Badgerclops insisted, moving a leg under the sheriff’s.

“ _ W-what, no, stop! _ ”

“ _ It’s so soft though! _ ”

“ _ I don’t want to feel the floor- _ ”

  
“ _ Yes you do~ _ ”

“ _ Rah! _ ” Mao Mao gave the badger’s shin a more firm punting. Badgerclops retracted his foot, letting out a soft “ _ Oof! _ ”

“ _ Jerk! _ ”

  
“ _ I’m sorry, alright? Just don’t play around, we’re not at home! _ ”

“ _ Will you at least try it, though? Just see what I’m talking about. _ ”

Mao Mao let out a puff of air. “ _ Fine. _ ”

Placing a paw on the floor, the sheriff slid his foot across the carpet. His nonplussed expression softened as the cushiony cords tickled his pads.

“ _ Heh, told you again. _ ”

Mao Mao rolled his eyes. “ _ Alright, but do it quietly. _ ”

The pair scooted their feet around, suppressing chuckles as they fooled around with the floor. A couple times their paws intersected, causing them to tap one another. At first they muttered apologies, but after a couple “accidents”, it became more deliberate. Their carpet-feeling tomfoolery became a complex game of bumper-cars; their eyes locked, glaring as they maneuvered around one another beneath the tablecloth. They started to giggle more loudly as the game progressed, covering their mouths as they kicked at one another. It was borderline disruptive, and the lead violinist gave an obvious throat-clearing while glancing in Mao Mao’s direction.

As Mao Mao locked eyes with the musician, the door that Quinton had left through earlier opened once more. The servant came out with three glasses and two bottles on a platter. Behind him, another Sweetiepie emerged pushing a small cart with a stove top.

“Ah, impeccable timing!” Snugglemagne said, setting his fork-baton down. Quinton set the glass and short, amber bottle next to the king before making his way to the duo’s end of the table. The long, thin glasses of bubbling liquor caught their eyes, putting an end to their game. 

Mao Mao was a feline of temperance - not because he had a moral inclination against it, but because he didn’t like the taste. Beyond that, he also hated the idea of dulling his senses on purpose. Nonetheless, he did not want to seem like he was rejecting the king’s hospitality, so he resolved to take an occasional sip until it went flat.

Badgerclops was more than happy to pick up the slack.

  
“ _ Mao, are they serving the food now? _ ”

The sheriff shook his head. “ _ No, Badgerclops, they’re going to cook it in front of us. _ ”

“ _ But, like, I haven’t even ordered yet. _ ”

“ _ It’s probably already been pre-arranged. Just sit back and enjoy the show. _ ”

“ _ As long as they keep the drinks comin’, _ ” Badgerclops downed the thin glass, pouring himself another. “ _ I haven’t drank in ages. _ ”

“ _ Just don’t overdo it… _ ” Mao Mao muttered, glancing over to the king. Snugglemagne had already foregone the glass, now drinking straight from the bottle. “ _ Well... know your limit. _ ”

“ _ Pff, _ ” Badgerclops waved a dismissive hand at Mao Mao, “ _ I’m a big badger, don’t sweat. _ ”

He sighed, sinking into the padded chair as the chef began to lay out his tools. The stove top came to life, a ring of blue flames surrounding the iron spirals. In short order, various cuts of imitation meat were laid out on two separate skillets before being attacked with a flurry of seasonings. Neither of the chef’s hands were still as he meticulously inspected the food, ensuring it was cooked to the king’s liking. Mao Mao nodded, admiring the mixture of technical skill and creative flourish that rivaled his own.

“Oh, Mao Mao-” Snugglemagne set his bottle on the table with a thump, “I must tell you how much of a privilege it is to have you two over tonight. Y-you see, the kingdom hasn’t gotten many visitors in the last… Oh…” The king made circles with his wrist. “Well, not since I was a little cub, from what I remember.”

“It’s an honor to be here, your grace. Your hospitality is unmatched.”

The cat rocked in his seat as he felt something press against his thigh. He looked down, seeing the badger’s foot resting in front of his crotch. Looking at his deputy with confusion, Badgerclops flashed him a smile as he took another drink.

Mao Mao redirected his attention to the king.

“So under my father’s reign, we only let outsiders in once a year, for an event we called the Pure Heart Festival... And  _ apparently _ in the old days it was a rather legendary ceremony. We used to draw in foreign heads of state like flies to honey…”

Another thrust from under the table pumped the sheriff. The trespassing foot thrust itself into his crotch, pressing up against him. A shock went through his spine as his whiskers straightened on end. He shot Badgerclops another look, who gave him another smile. Maintaining the look, Mao Mao moved his paws to the badger’s foot to try and dislodge him. This move only spurred the badger further; he began to rub his foot up and down, putting a constant pressure against the sheriff. 

“ _ B-badgerclops, cut it out! _ ” Mao Mao seethed, his face going flush as the movements began to stir him.

“And then the year that the raiders of Spiremouth Peak came... “ Snugglemagne shot the sheriff a look. “ _ Ahem _ ,” he said, tapping his paws on the table, “Is something the matter?”

“W-what?” Mao Mao stuttered, looking at the king as sweat began to form on his forehead. “No, no, everything’s just fine, your grace! I was just... Imagining what those days must have been like. Heh.”

“Oh…” Snugglemagne said, disarmed. “Well, as I was saying, when the warships docked, we thought that our goose was cooked, as it were…”

Mao Mao nodded along, giving a forced smile as he tried to ignore the badger’s teasing from under the table. His pants were stiff, having grown to his full length as his manhood rebelled against him. The traitorous flesh pulsed, straining for freedom and threatening to soil the rented fabrics. With little alternative, Mao Mao moved his paws down to undo his belt, taking great care to keep the metal buckle from jingling. Popping the hook out, he undid the buckle and held it firmly in a paw. With his other paw he grasped himself, freeing it from his undergarments. Exposed to the cool air, a fresh series of shivers went down the cat’s spine. 

A strange, chaotic feeling made his chest feel tight. The exhilaration of exposing himself in such a setting put his senses on edge, and the renewed rubbing of Badgerclops’s sole against him threw him into an involuntary vibration.

“Actually, I think I have a picture of Uncle Reynolds on my phone, here…” Snugglemagne pulled a phone from his doublet, running his thumb across the screen. “Let me just find it and I’ll show you…”

“T-that’s arlgiht, your  _ guh- _ grace! You don’t need to  _ trah- _ trouble yourself w-with  _ aah- _ getting up!” He said, his voice rising above the background music.

“Ohoh, it’s no trouble at all! I just need to find that picture of his portrait that I took; it has to be somewhere!” He furrowed his brow.

  
A new, squeezing sensation began at Mao Mao’s tip. He gripped the chair with his hands, letting his belt clink against his thigh as he pressed his digits onto the wood for support. The squeezing sensation travelled up and down his length; Badgerclops had caught the sheriff between his toes.

“Oh, I just remembered! I posted it on Skitter just the other week!” Snugglemagne announced with a giggle. “I just need to pull up my old posts, this won’t take a second!”

“O-oh yeah?” Mao Mao asked, panic rising in his voice. 

He shot a desperate look at Badgerclops, who was holding a hand over his mouth as he kept himself from howling with laughter. His nerves were screaming at him, begging for more as he struggled to maintain what little composure he could muster. The king was already standing, looking at his screen expectantly as he seemed to be close to his goal.

A second presence made itself known against the cat’s member. Badgerclops pulled back, and now had a foot on either side of the sheriff. He pressed his feet together, squeezing the sheriff between the gap. Mao Mao let out a squeak as he felt himself approaching his climax. The king looked at his phone with annoyance, muttering about the photo loading slowly. Mao Mao was out of time, and he wouldn’t be able to prevent the inevitable.

The image of the silk napkin flashed through his head, and with all the dexterity he could bring to bear, he swiped it from his lap. Cupping the napkin in his paws, he prepared for release as the badger’s dutiful paws brought him over the edge.

The napkin felt damp against his paws, becoming saturated with his thick, hot passion. He hopped in his chair as the muscle spasms forced every last pump out of him; the thrill of being caught sent his orgasm to new heights. With a final downwards thrust of Badgerclops’s paws, Mao Mao felt the last of his load roll out as a glob against the soiled napkin.

“Oh, wait... This is uncle Bernard. I must’ve been thinking of someone else,” Snugglemagne shrugged, sitting back down. “Nevermind!”

Mao Mao lurched forward, cradling the napkin against his member as he nursed the last drops out of himself. He felt hot under his suit, sweat staining his undershirt and his combed fur long since becoming frayed and disheveled.

“E-excuse me, your grace,” Mao Mao said, slipping his belt back on, “I need to use the restroom.”


	6. (Gen) Cooking: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mao Mao teaches Badgerclops how to cook.

The campfire burned low, licking the cast iron pan with wisps of orange flame as Mao Mao hummed to himself. The travelling heroes had been fortunate; they found some edible berries the day before, and Badgerclops had managed to catch some fish in a makeshift trap he set up the night before. The berries could be pressed and scorched into a spread for their hardtack, and Mao Mao was always a fan of a nice fillet. 

Using the utensils he always carried with him, the cat skillfully separated flanks of the fish from its bones. Badgerclops watched with interest as Mao Mao prepared their meal, admiring his skill. Cutting the fish seemed simple enough since the anatomy of a fish wasn’t difficult to learn, but the art of cooking had always evaded the badger; art was never his strong suit. He could do math and science, but when it came to cooking there were too many variables. Recipes were not so much equations as they were suggestions, and all the advice he had received on the subject was to just go by your eye. That mentality was what annoyed him so much about trying to learn it in the past.

What was ‘eyeballing it’ supposed to mean, anyway? He couldn’t see the interior of meat, and he couldn’t read the temperature of the skillet. Time could be measured, but the amount of material he was cooking was much more difficult to regulate. As for seasonings, he couldn’t help but notice that Mao Mao hadn’t carried any measuring cups with him. He was simply reaching into some small pouches and tossing pinches of salt into the pan between poking at it with a fork. It looked like he was just playing with the food, but he knew that if he tried to do it his way it would end up charred and black. Mao Mao, on the other hand, proved more than capable as he lifted the golden-brown fillet to a plate. He set it on his lap, sliding the next fish into the pan.

“Badgerclops, have you ever tried cooking before?” Mao Mao asked as he began to quarter his meal with a fork.

“Kinda…” Badgerclops tapped his claws together. “I’ve never been very good at it, though.”

Mao Mao grunted. “Well, it’s a vital skill for any wandering adventurer to know. Scoot in, I’ll show you how it’s done.”

“Sure,” Badgerclops leaned in, already knowing how this was going to go, “you’ve gotta play it by ear, right?”

“Well, uh, I guess…” Mao Mao looked at his co-hero. He couldn’t help but notice the lack of confidence in his voice. “It’s a skill you get better at through practice, like drawing or sword fighting.”

“But those have fundamentals,” Badgerclops grumbled, “what kind of fundamentals does cooking have other than ‘don’t burn it’?”

“That’s a good question, actually.” Mao Mao rubbed his chin. He’d been with Badgerclops long enough to recognize his style of learning. He was a very analytical person, and he didn’t take well to trial-and-error. It was much easier to explain things to him empirically than with broad strokes, so he had to improvise.

“Alright, Badgerclops, observe the fillet. Notice how the skin looks, compared to the finished fillet on my lap. You want to try and copy the way it looks here - golden brown on top and totally white in the middle.”

Badgerclops rolled his eye. “If only it were that easy.”

“It kinda is that easy. Let me explain, cooking something like this is more about being patient than anything else. You’ve got a window of time to work with,” Mao Mao held his hands out, “between undercooked and overcooked. It depends on how hot the flame you’re working with is, but for something like this you have a good minute or two. As long as you’re within that window, you’re good.”

“So I just sit here and watch it? When do I turn it? When do I add seasonings, and how often do I need to scrape it to make sure it doesn’t stick to the pan?”

“You’re overthinking it, Badgerclops. You don’t need to worry about that so much. The answer to most of your questions is, ‘whenever you feel like’, because there’s no one way to do it. Here, hold the fork.”

Badgerclops took the utensil, staring at the cooking meat. He focused on the boiling water that seemed to seep out of the underside, along with the small islands of separated meat that boiled away into a brown crust.

“So, when do I turn it?”

Mao Mao shrugged. “Do you think you should turn it?”   
  


“Bro, I’m asking  _ you _ , you’re the experienced one!”

“I know you don’t like this answer, but every new dish you cook is a field test. You have to observe and create your own recipe for this stuff. Let’s start on that - how long has it been since I put the fillet on the pan?”

Badgerclops blinked, reading his HUD. “Three minutes and forty-seven seconds.”

“Alright, so let’s round up to four minutes. Go ahead and turn the fillet over.”   
  


Stabbing a thicker part of the flank, Badgerclops flipped it over. The meat hissed against the hot skillet, sending a fresh billow of steam into the air as it began to cook. The pair observed the newly exposed half, and Badgerclops gave a grimace as he observed the darker brown in the center.

“Looks like I burned it…” Badgerclops huffed.

Mao Mao shook his head. “No, it’s perfectly normal to sear the skin a bit. It just makes it a little more crunchy. It’s up to preference, but the meat is still perfectly edible.”

“So…” Badgerclops’s sour expression softened, “four minutes a side is good?”

“It’s a good rough estimate,” Mao Mao nodded, “your result will always vary a bit depending on how hot the fire is or how thick the cut you’re working with is. This cut is a little thinner than the one I cooked, so while four minutes would’ve been perfect for the last cut, this one needs a little less time. You can measure thickness a little better than heat, so that’s another easily remembered bit of research you can do.”

Badgerclops hummed. He kept the information in mind, forming a rough equation in his mind for how to cook fish. 

_ Time to completion = ((thickness of meat - heat of pan) + preference) _

“But what about seasoning?”   
  
“Now that is almost entirely up to the individual’s preference,” Mao Mao said as he pulled his spice pouches from his belt, “some people like a lot of salt while others just want a little bit of pepper. Then you have oregano, thyme, chilli powder, garlic powder…”

Badgerclops cocked his head to the side. “But, like, which ones do you use for fish?”

“Well, it depe-” -he cleared his throat- “usually people like meat to be savory, so salt and pepper is a good base. If you want it to be spicy but you don’t have any hot sauce on hand, you could add some chilli powder or red pepper for more kick, but I think salt and pepper would be good enough.”

“And how much should I use?”

“That’s actually easier than cooking, believe it or not. You can fix under-seasoning, but you can’t fix over-seasoning, so being cautious helps here. More than the amount you use, uniformity is important. You don’t want to just drop a mound of salt and pepper on the middle of the dish, otherwise you’ll have one really salty and spicy part while the rest of it is bland. Try to sprinkle it out evenly, and then use your utensil to work it around better.”

Mao Mao set the small sacks by his partner. Reaching his mechanical arm inside, Badgerclops secured a couple of grains between his claws and dropped them on the cooking meat.

“Add a  _ little _ bit more than that,” Mao Mao instructed, making an ‘o’ with his thumb and index finger, “you don’t have to be  _ that _ careful.”

Badgerclops repeated his previous step a few more times, until each section of the fillet had gotten at least a bit of seasoning on it.

“Like that?”

Mao Mao shrugged. “Yeah, sure. You can do it that way. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to tell if that’s seasoned to your liking until you eat it, but once you find a good balance you can do it more confidently.”

Badgerclops nodded. As long as he took notes, he could build up his own knowledge on the subject. Another four minutes had passed, so he gave the fillet another flip. The underside was more evenly cooked, and it seemed ready. While not as pristine as Mao Mao’s work, it was acceptable.

Mao Mao held out a plate, and Badgerclops lifted the cooked fish from the pan. Removing the pan from the fire, Mao Mao set it on a nearby rock as the two of them dug in to their breakfast.

“How’s it taste?”

Badgerclops munched thoughtfully. “It’s… pretty good. It could use a  _ little _ more salt, though.”

“You can add that now if you’d like. It comes out a little stronger when you add it after cooking, but spice can be added directly.”

“I see…” Badgerclops smiled, getting another pinch of salt and spreading it across the rest of his meal.

“Looks like you did really well. Are you sure that’s the first time you’ve tried cooking?” Mao Mao gave his partner a confident smile.

“Thanks, man. You walked me through it, so it wasn’t so bad.”

“Now, now,” Mao Mao wagged a finger, “you did it all yourself. I just encouraged you to be confident in your decision-making. It seems like you have an eye for cooking after all.”

Badgerclops felt his face grow warm. “Aw, quit it. I’m not nearly as good as you.”

“You’re a fast learner. Before long you could be baking all kinds of things.”

Under the mentorship of such a patient and reassuring teacher, the idea of learning to cook didn’t seem all that daunting to him anymore. Even if he couldn’t record every little detail of the process, making his own loose list of notes on what he was cooking would get him most of the way there, and after that it was little more than the individual’s preference. He could manage that.

“I guess you’re right,” Badgerclops returned a smile, “thanks, dude.”


	7. (Gen) Maintenance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. - Proverbs 27:17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a prompt I got several days ago from "cj" on an earlier chapter! I hope you enjoy it.

The hero’s body was relaxed. His heartbeat was slow and steady, in tune with the rising and falling of his chest. 

_ Inhale. One… Two… Three. Exhale. One… Two… Three... _

His mind was sharp. He read the speed and direction of the wind on the tips of his whiskers, feeling the bristling of each hair on his body. His cape ruffled behind him like a flag on a pole, and the wisps of strong incense brought him clarity.

Focus, as on the outside, required a delicate balance within. A smell or a sound, even a state of being was all it took. Dwelling on it - putting his entire mind to it - allowed him to find his place in the world. The deeper he searched within, the better he could understand himself. The greater the control he could exert over himself, the better he could perform his duties. At a level such as his, swordsmanship was not so much an art as it was a way of life. The seeming ease through which he performed his daring heroics and reality-defying moves required a lifetime of dedication, not only to learn but to maintain.

That maintenance required countless hours of meditation and practice. Both were best left for times when he could be alone, not because he did not enjoy company, but because his quest was one of inner perfection. Nobody else could help him get in tune with himself, as much as he hated to admit, so the self-isolation was necessary. He considered himself fortunate to have such understanding friends.

It was almost over. He felt his inner balance restoring itself, and with each breath he felt like he breathed with the earth. His senses were honed, and he could pinpoint the flapping of a dragonfly’s wings from fifty feet away. He knew better than to let this excite him, as it would ruin the whole process, but he allowed himself to give a slight smile as he let out an audible exhale.

‘ _ One more round of mantra for good measure. _ ’

“Mao…” His vocal chords vibrated like a hollow wooden bell.

“Mao…” A voice unlike his own buzzed from his esophagus. It settled in the back of his throat, coming out clear and low.

“Ma-”

A muffled screech emanated from indoors. A faint but high-pitched scream, not longer than a fraction of a second. He recognized it at once - Badgerclops had made the noise. His inscrutable purpose was beyond the hero’s understanding or immediate interest. The deputy knew better than to be disruptive, but also knew he could interrupt his meditation if a situation called for it. Mao Mao could only assume it was an accident, something that wouldn’t be repeated. Neither of them were perfect, after all, so he wouldn’t hold it against him.

He righted his breathing before continuing where he’d left off.

“Ma-”

Another screech. More of a yelp, really. Short and crisp.

Mao Mao exhaled, opening his eyes for the first time in hours. He glared in the sunlight, holding his cape in front of his face. What meditating he had accomplished would have to suffice, now that he was fully disconnected from his focus. He pawed his way inside, his ears twitching at the occasional noise coming from downstairs. Reaching for the fire pole that led to their basement, he swung his way down.

Badgerclops held a soldering iron to his opened arm, his organic arm trying to remain steady as he made adjustments to the internal circuitry. He hummed with nervousness, and the back of his head looked damp from sweat.

“ _ C’mon, man… Just a couple more… _ ”

A short, crisp sound of electric crackling preempted another yelp from the badger, causing him to thrust the tool onto the table with a bang.

  
“Damn it!”

Mao Mao cleared his throat. “Language, Badgerclops.”

The deputy spun around in his chair, his face going red. “O-oh, hey, Mao! Did you finish meditating already?”

‘ _ No, you ruined my concentration. _ ’

“Yeah, I finished a little earlier than I expected.” He glanced around the room with disinterest. “Are you… Okay?”

“Yeah… I’m cool. I’m just trying to change some of the functions on my arm.”

“Mm. And how’s that going?”

“It’s… Going.” Badgerclops sighed. “I’ve been at it for a couple of hours, and my arms are getting really tired. I’m almost finished, but I could really use some help.”

Mao Mao’s eyes widened. Help? He’d never asked for help with his arm before, unless he counted cleaning the gunk out. He’d never been big on mechanics or robotics, always preferring his own physical strength and technique. Electronics were prone to malfunctions, no matter how much you trained with them, and he didn’t like taking chances. He still remembered the time Badgerclops offered to help him get a cybernetic tail that could function like his arm. He refused at once, knowing that it would likely be his undoing.

“You want me to help you with your arm?” Mao Mao asked, taking a step forward. “You know I’m not really… Good with that kind of stuff.”

Badgerclops waved him over. “Just help me keep my hand steady. I won’t make you do anything too complicated, I promise.”

The sheriff let out a small huff. He knew he didn’t mean for it to come across the way it did, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was talked down to. Then again, he was really out of his element here. A little humility would probably go a long way.

“Uh, sure.” Mao Mao muttered, approaching the deputy. Badgerclops retrieved his soldering iron, holding his arm out for the sheriff to grasp.

“Yeah, like that - just keep my arm from trembling, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Mao Mao said, tightening his grip on the badger’s wrist.

With the sheriff’s steadying paws, Badgerclops continued to solder new connections to the circuitry of his arm. He pumped the small, gun-like device as it fed its coil of soldering material onto the sparking bit. Mao Mao stared at the maze of green and gold, following the little black lines that seemed to lead to nowhere. It was interesting geometry, sure, but it seemed like gibberish to him. A part of him found it hard to believe that it all somehow translated into his deputy’s array of day-saving tools.

“So, Badgerclops... “ Mao Mao spoke over the sound of the melting metal, “What kind of work are you doing to your arm, anyway?”

“My arm?” Badgerclops asked, stopping to look at the sheriff. “Well, recently I’ve been noticing that the response time for the blaster has been on the fritz depending on our altitude and the humidity in the air. I figured it might have something to do with general wear and tear on the hardware, but I didn’t feel like going through it and trying to change out the coil and getting new batteries. I’m just gonna brute-force it and overload the energy regulator for a while until I find the time to do some more thorough repairs.”

Mao Mao nodded, pretending he understood what any of that meant. There were batteries in there, and a coil? How was he increasing its… output, or whatever, by melting some metal onto that plastic? It didn’t make any sense to him, and he found that annoying. It must’ve shown on his face, because he noticed Badgerclops’s smile begin to fade as the seconds of silence went on.

“But yeah…” Badgerclops sighed, turning back to his arm, “it’s just some boring, techy nerd stuff. It’s not that interesting.”

“ _ Nobody ever finds it interesting. _ ” Badgerclops whispered.

Mao Mao’s ears twitched. If he hadn’t just finished heightening his senses, he probably would’ve been too caught up in his own petty boredom to hear the side-comment, but the words of his partner were loud and clear to his trained ears. The not-too-distant memory of their escapades from the last time Badgerclops felt ignored flashed through his head, and he began to feel like a hypocrite.

“That’s... Cool, Badgerclops.” Mao Mao said, putting on a smile.

“Oh, come on, dude. You don’t need to humor me. I could see that look on your face.”

“Hey,” Mao Mao said, a tinge of annoyance rising to his voice, “just because I don’t understand how it works doesn’t mean I can’t admire the way you use it.”

“You-” -Badgerclops looked back to the sheriff- “Wait. Did you just say you… admire me?”   
  


Mao Mao felt his face grow warm. He turned away, faking a cough. “Well, yeah. You’re really proficient with that arm of yours. I can’t even count all the times you’ve either saved the day or made our missions a lot easier because of all the functions you built into that thing.”

“Aw, it’s nothin’.” Badgerclops waved his hand, placing the tool down. “I’ve been screwin’ around with it for years. It was really hard at first but I’ve managed to stuff a ton of software into it.”

Mao Mao gave him a confused look. “Soft...ware?”

“Yeah, like programs and stuff.”

The sheriff’s eyes were dull. “You’ve lost me.”

“Uh… Think of your sword like hardware, and all the moves you know how to use it with as software. I’ve put a bunch of moves into my arm to make it do different stuff using what it’s made of.”

“Really? You can do that?”

Mao Mao surprised himself, noting the interest in his own voice. In that short description alone, his perception of Badgerclops’s arm as a bundle of metal junk and wires was changed on a fundamental level.

“Yeah, and it’s really cool! Except if I don’t get the coding down right then there could be a malfunction. Like, uh, if you practice a technique wrong and you keep making the same mistake. You gotta refine it, y’know?”

“Yeah…” Mao Mao nodded his head, “I see. " He let out a short chuckle. "Wow, I don’t think I gave you enough credit for all the work you put into that thing.”

Badgerclops giggled, picking the tool back up. “Well, I’ve still got a bit of work to do on this arm. I’ll tell you some more about it while we work… If you’d like.”

“I think I’d like that a lot.”


	8. (Gen) Cooking: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I just wanted to do a little something special for 'ya!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A prompt from fellow writer and lovely individual RedRiver24816! Thank you for the idea.

The hills sloped gently; an endless, shifting sea of tall grass that swayed with the breeze. They were a couple hours out from the last village before their destination, and they took that opportunity to pick up some fresh supplies. Their pouches once more bulged with non-perishable food, perfect for their trek through the wilderness. They had their final real meal for the foreseeable future that morning - a nice country breakfast of eggs and starchy vegetables, but from here on out it was canned food and the occasionally foraged edible along the way.

  
Reaching the crest of the tallest hill, Mao Mao stopped. Badgerclops lugged behind him, keeping his own steady pace. His rucksack clanked and jingled with each step, weighed down by his assortment of essential supplies. Mao Mao’s traveller’s pack leaned against his frame, his back slightly bent over and his hips wide to distribute the weight. He had long since grown used to the weight of carrying his livelihood on his back, and his paws had grown thick, calloused layers of skin to keep him from chaffing after a long march. Still, it was nice to take breaks every hour or two. Not for very long, just long enough to catch his breath and do some stretching.

“Uh… Badgerclops. Do me a favor and scout towards the west,” Mao Mao directed, pointing a gloved paw, “see if you can’t find a place for us to set up camp.”

The hero’s other paw glided down to his stomach, feeling the tremors of his belly strain against his belt. A bite to eat wouldn’t hurt, either.

“You got it, Mao.” Badgerclops said as he started to waddle off.

Mao Mao couldn’t help but find it a little strange how easily the badger complied with his order. He half expected him to argue about the designation, but he wasn’t about to question it. That just made his plan easier. He watched his co-hero trudge down the hill, brushing aside the foliage as he crested the summit of the next hill. Once he started heading back down, out of Mao Mao’s sight, he got to work.

* * *

Little did Mao Mao know, Badgerclops was looking for an excuse to get out of his eyesight. He’d been waiting for the perfect moment to step away, and being tasked with a bogus scouting mission was the perfect opportunity. The top of the hill was plenty fine for them, so he didn’t need to go find some new place to make camp at. Instead of scouting, he would prepare something special.

He hadn’t had many opportunities to cook, but he had been trying his best to practice. He didn’t make anything crazy, just a simple boiled meal or frying some meat. Mao Mao was always there to tell him about his own experiences with cooking and what he thought was just right for the meals he made, but now it was time to try something by himself. A simple meal, yes - but a favorite none-the-less.

Setting his pack on the ground, he unzipped a side pouch and pulled out a small plastic packet. Shing Fresh Ramen, Tuna flavor. He’d managed to find one at the general store they stopped at as they went through town. Mao Mao hadn’t seen him buy it, which made it even better. These packets were worth their weight in gold to the hero - a prized lunch item that he always ended up eating on the first few days of their travels. He’d seen him make it enough that he knew how to do it just like he liked it, and that was exactly what he intended to do.

He retrieved a small pot and an electric heating tool, perfect for small campsite cooking. Setting the pot on the little hot plate, he poured exactly four liters of water into the pot. It was a lot of water to use, but there were plenty of streams in the area. He cracked the package in half, both to fit the noodles in more easily and because Mao Mao hated it when he got the entire package of noodles in one fork. He wanted to make it as close to perfect as possible, which meant maximum attention to detail. Nothing could be overlooked, down to how long the noodles boiled.

124 degrees celsius. The heat dissipation would put the water to a rolling boil right around the time the noodles softened up. He set the timer on his HUD, sitting next to his makeshift stovetop. At the end of the timer he’d add the flavoring packet - three-fourths of it, to be exact. Mao Mao always complained about it being just a little too salty, so he tried not to use all of it. With everything prepped, all that was left to do was wait.

* * *

The rice was cooking nicely. The jury-rigged covered pot was working surprisingly well, and Mao Mao figured the crunchy rice that might form at the bottom could be repurposed into a nice travelling snack. As steam billowed out of the pot, hung above his small campfire, he whistled a tune. Using a small knife, he chopped away at some carrots he’d stashed away with the rest of the supplies he’d grabbed at the store.

Their shopping trip had been very successful. He’d found some dried seaweed sheets, and he considered it especially auspicious that there was even a yellow pickle radish in the refrigerated goods section. Dicing the radish up along with some carrots, he helped himself to a quick snack. The sweet, tangy taste made him salivate, running a slight chill down his spine. He could chomp away at it all day, but he had to reserve himself. 

He’d already compromised to make some extra wraps for himself, but the best would be reserved for Badgerclops. The poor guy always seemed to get a stomach ache when they dug into their non-perishables. He’d roll around for hours with indigestion, groaning about his stomach feeling bloated and uncomfortable, and it pained him to see his partner suffer so much. With any luck, this surprise home-cooked meal would hold him over another day or so.

He was cooking something new this time. It was a favorite from his childhood - something that he and his sisters always looked forward to getting from their mother when they were about to go train in the field for the day. She called it ‘bento’, and it was a very aesthetically pleasing, compact boxed lunch that gave a well-balanced meal. The plan was simple - use the seaweed wraps, rice and vegetables - glued together with a bit of soy sauce - to make a roll of kimbap. He’d stuff a couple into the large, central compartment in a pleasing spread, putting a little mound of extra carrot in the middle. In the smaller compartment he’d put some sliced banana for a quick dessert, and adjacent to that he had another silicone container ready to be stuffed with some roasted walnuts.

Alright, he didn’t cook the walnuts. Preparing something completely fresh in the field was difficult, and he didn’t have access to a lot of ingredients that wouldn’t have perished on the way out of town, but he could improvise. It was still a balanced meal, and he was sure Badgerclops would love it - or at least appreciate the gesture.

The rice was fluffing up nicely, almost ready to be withdrawn and spread. He had the materials out and ready to go - waiting on the now-cleaned chopping block. Laying out the first piece of seaweed, he took a small bottle of soy sauce from his pack and unscrewed the lid. He tilted the bottle upside down, splashing a bit of the liquid on his ungloved paw that pressed up against the lip. Rubbing it across one end of the wrap, he prepared it for being tucked into a tight cylinder.

* * *

The water hit its rolling boil right as his alarm went off. With a quick jerk of his hand, the remaining contents of the packet were dumped into the broth. Badgerclops flicked his wrist fast enough to ensure as little of it got clumped up inside from the billowing steam as possible, reaching that ideal 3/4ths of a packet. With his other hand he guided a fork across the broth, mixing the seasoning with a diligent whisking. It didn’t need much, just enough to remove the clump of seasoning from its entry point. The natural science of boiling water would take care of the rest.

Badgerclops flicked the hot plate off, killing the power so the water would begin to cool. It didn’t need long to flavor the noodles, and he wasn’t planning on straining the water either. When Mao Mao wasn’t looking, he’d snatched the hero’s thermos. Mao Mao didn’t drink coffee often on the road, so it was usually empty unless they were travelling through an exceptionally hot or cold area. A mild climate like this was the perfect chance to securely store a hot meal for his partner.

As the boil came to a stop, Badgerclops extracted a strand of the finished noodles with his fork. He slurped it off of the utensil, smiling as he found it to be perfectly prepared. He unscrewed the cap of the thermos and carefully poured some of the contents of the pot into it. A lot of the water had boiled away, but there was still a considerable excess that wasn’t going to fit. Using the fork, he held the noodles at bay while he drained some of the excess water onto the ground. 

Measuring the remaining contents to be appropriate, he poured the rest into the thermos before sealing it tight - Mao Mao’s lunch was completed. Wiping the sweat from his brow, Badgerclops packed up his equipment. He sucked in his teeth as he saw the time, hoping that his partner wasn’t worried about him taking so long. Fortunately, the walk back was going to be brief. He’d probably be able to see him as soon as he got over the hill.

* * *

The last bit of the roll was sliced, making six nice, thick pieces to place in a little ring on the main compartment. He admired his handiwork, pleased with the precision of his cuts and the evenness of the distribution. Reaching over, he gently placed the container for the sliced banana in its spot, pushing against the container filled with almond. He finished off the box with two picks - one of a cat and one of a badger - to skewer one of the pieces of kimbap and the middle banana slice, respectively. He jiggled the box a bit, making sure it was all compact and settled before sealing it.

He was just in time, as he started to pick up on the sound of trampling grass from over the hill. Quickly stuffing his equipment into his pack, he held the box within the folds of his cape as Badgerclops’s head became visible.

“Welcome back,” Mao Mao said, keeping his voice gruff and casual, “did you find anything?”  
  


Badgerclops shook his head. “Nah, didn’t see anywhere better than here. Might as well camp where we split up.”

Mao Mao nodded. “That sounds like a good idea. I hope you worked up an appetite during your scouting mission, because I could go for something to eat.”

Badgerclops gave him a smile. “Yeah. Me too, actually. I’m really hungry.”

Badgerclops reached for the thermos clanking against his side. Mao Mao rested his free paw against his cape.

“That’s good to hear, because-”

“-Actually, I wanted to give you something, I-”

“Made you dinner!” / “Made you dinner!”

“You did?” / “You did?”

They stared at one another, faces going warm with surprise as they held their respective gifts out. As if looking in a mirror, they both looked away as they massaged the back of their necks.

  
“Aw jeez, dude, you didn’t need to…”

“You didn’t need to make me anything, I could’ve cooked for both of us…”

“Well, I just wanted to do a little something special for ‘ya, for all the stuff we’ve been through. A little token of gratitude, y’know?” Badgerclops looked up at him, giving him another smile.

“I know how much you hate eating our normal rations,” Mao Mao said, stepping forward, “so I wanted to give you something fresh to hold you over a little bit longer. It’s not a big deal…”

Badgerclops’s eye lit up as he saw the small plastic container. “Dude, you made me bento? I haven’t had that since I was a kid! That’s so cool!”

Mao Mao avoided his gaze, his face glowing a brighter shade. “It’s nothing, really! I just thought it would be… cute, y’know?”

“It’s _so_ cute, dude…” Badgerclops trailed, holding the thermos out. “I hope you don’t mind, but I nabbed your thermos before we left. I needed to use it for the surprise.”

“My thermos?” Mao Mao asked, looking at his pack. As his partner said, it was not hanging off the side like it usually was. Surprised he didn’t notice, he took it back with a confused expression on his face. “What did you need my thermos for?”

“You’ll see~” Badgerclops sang, exchanging meals with the hero.

The two of them opened their meals at the same time, Mao Mao unscrewing the cap as Badgerclops popped the box open. They both gasped, hands shooting to their mouths as they glanced back up at one another.

“Y-you found my favorite ramen?” Mao Mao muttered through his gloved paw, eyes growing misty.

“You found pins of us!” Badgerclops announced, giving them a little poke. “They’re adorable, dude!”

Mao Mao sniffled, rubbing the back of his paw across his face. Badgerclops looked up at him, closing the gap and placing a paw on his shoulder.

  
“You good? It’s just some ramen, heh. You don’t gotta cry about it!”

Mao Mao shook his head, putting the cap back on. “It’s not just the food - thank you, by the way. I was going to be cranky about not having some tuna ramen. It’s just… so thoughtful. I didn’t know you were paying that much attention to me.”

“Pff, of course, man! You’re, like, my best friend!” Badgerclops gave him a pat. “I want to make you as happy as I can, even if it’s something as small as a cup of hot ramen for the road.”

“...Thank you, Badgerclops.” Mao Mao said at length, approaching his partner. He wrapped his arm around the badger’s side, pulling him into a hug.

“Ahah, dude…”Badgerclops snickered, returning the gesture with a squeeze.

They held the hug for a couple long seconds, ending with a fresh round of reassuring pats before releasing.

“Well, no need to let the food get cold,” Mao Mao said, unscrewing the thermos, “Let’s eat!”


	9. (Gen) Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We end where we began - Mao Mao wakes up after practicing team attacks with Badgerclops.

It was so warm.

That was all he could think of. He wasn’t quite sure where he was, but he didn’t want to dwell on it. Where he was wasn’t nearly as important to him as the feeling of genuine mirth that radiated from his chest. A memory of feeling cold and damp protruded in the back of his mind, but it seemed completely alien to him in this place.

When was the last time he could even remember feeling like this? He couldn’t recall ever feeling so safe or secure in his life, not even in his mother’s embrace as an infant. This feeling was different - not one of dependence, but of confidence and trust. Wherever he was, whatever he was doing, it felt right. It felt safe. It felt  _ good _ . The pure, innocent bliss that bubbled from his chest washed over him in an endless cycle of rolling waves, and if he had the choice he would’ve preferred to remain in this place forever.

Try as he might, the world around him began to take shape as he dwelled on the question. The once white and featureless sky began darkening under an expanding canopy of dull color, and a solid, hard floor of gray took form from beneath him. He found himself lying down, feeling some sort of fresh pressure pushing against his underside. The font of warmth seemed to persist from there, so he tried his best to attach himself to it, keeping himself as low to the ground as he could. He focused on that lingering feeling of warmth as the world went black.

With the last of the light gone, it began to dawn on him that his eyes were closed. His featureless world had been replaced with the muffled sound of wind and the flapping of his tent. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but he was loath to remove himself from the source of his comfort that had persisted past his transition to lucidity. His mind began to recalibrate, differentiating dream from reality as he recollected his recent adventures.

_ ‘I’m on a mountainside. I was training with my partner. We went to bed… _ ’

_ ‘Together. _ ’

His eyes shot open, staring at an ocean of white-mocha fur he had pressed himself up against. The matted, musky fur smelled unpleasant at best, but it provided a comfort unmatched by anything he had ever worn or felt before. Reluctantly, he pulled his body away from the thick fur and observed his partner. He was lying on the ground with his eye closed and his arms to his sides.

He became aware of the dull vibration in his chest - his breaths had modified themselves into a deep, buzzing purr, the likes of which he hadn’t done in years. He felt his face growing hot with embarrassment, his own body betraying his feelings with such a childish display of emotion to someone he’d just met. He’d be mortified if Badgerclops was awake, but fortunately it seemed like he was still out.

Reaching his legs to the ground, he started to push himself off of the badger with as much grace as he could muster. Maybe if he could just slide away from him and pretend to be asleep before he woke up he could pretend it never happe-

“ _ Mmh, _ ” Badgerclops stretched his back with a yawn, “You awake already, dude?”

Mao Mao’s breath stopped. He froze on Badgerclops’s stomach, staring at him with blazing eyes. His mind raced with ways to play off the humiliating display, but he couldn’t come up with anything plausible. He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by an unexpected yet comforting feeling along his back.

“You wanna go back to bed?” Badgerclops asked, running a paw across Mao Mao’s back.

“ _ Badgerclops, _ ” he gave a gruff whisper, “ _ what are you doing? _ ”

The badger giggled. “I’m just givin’ my buddy a little pat-pat. You guys like that kind of thing, right?”

Badgerclops winced at the feeling of multiple claws poking at his chest and stomach.

“ _ Unhand me. _ ”

The hand lifted from Mao Mao’s back, thumping on the floor. “Geez, alright. No need to get so defensive all of a sudden. It's not like you've been sleeping on my chest for the last, like, four hours or anything.”

The hero blinked. Had he really been snuggling up to his associate for that long? Was he the cause of that perfect dream he’d just had? This guy that he had just met and barely trained with, much less fought alongside.

Why did he feel so safe around him?

Mao Mao retracted his claws, relaxing his posture. “ _ Four hours? _ ”

Badgerclops nodded. “Almost on the dot. You were so tired and cold from the training that you fell asleep the moment I took you inside.”

He didn’t even remember being brought inside. The last thing he remembered was trying to steal some of his partner’s warmth, and a distant conversation about sleeping arrangements. Had he really just passed out on top of him - and Badgerclops was okay with it?  


“ _ I thought you were really careful about your personal space. _ ” Mao Mao muttered.

“Well, yeah…” Badgerclops sat up, meeting Mao Mao at eye level, “but I dunno. I guess I just... trust you, even if we haven't known each other for very long.”

“ _ We just met… _ ” Mao Mao whispered, more to himself than anything.

“Well, you did save me… And I guess I kinda saved you now. From getting hypothermia or something, at least.”

Mao Mao blinked at him, his small smile obscured under the tufts of Badgerclops’s fur. Despite being awake now, that familiar feeling of safety and warmth was returning to his chest. His eyes drooped as the adrenaline faded, replaced with his lingering exhaustion. His breaths switched back into a purr as he let his head fall down once more, resting against his co-hero.

“A couple more hours, huh?”

He didn’t ever want to lose this feeling.

“ _ A couple more hours. _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus ends (the slightly extended) Badgermao Week. I hope you enjoyed this celebration of the wonderful Badgermao ship with me, and I look forward to doing even more with these lads in the future, whether it be smut, fluff, or something in-between. As always, your feedback is appreciated along with your criticism. And don't forget - I'm always up for requests, and it doesn't have to be Badgermao! Until next time.


End file.
